Last night, some otherworldly things happened on the beltway just outside of our beloved College Park. Twitter exploded after a flatbed truck was seen hauling a UFO-like figure down I-495, escorted by police.
The government (psshh) was quick to cover up the incident, saying that the UFO was actually a Northrop Grumman X-47B aircraft, one that does not need to be operated by a human. Can we be sure to trust the word of a few military spokesman though? I’ve come up with a few of my own solutions.
Konspiracy I: These are actually UFO’s that are being covered up by the world’s top governments.
Last week, a UFO was videotaped over the Middle East and it was the Russian government who claimed it was a missile test gone awry.
Let’s dig a little deeper. So, within a week, the United States and Russia have both deterred UFO theories by claiming it all had to do with their militaries. Both of these governments, because of the Cold War, are the most advanced technologically and possess the most information that cannot be leaked to the general public. For the USA, exhibit A is Area 51 (which was also the name of my beach week house).
Seems a little suspicious to me.
Konspiracy II: The UFO was a marketing ploy for Ridley Scott’s Prometheus.
This past weekend, the long awaited Ridley Scott film Prometheus finally premiered, finishing second at the box office to Madagascar 3. The films advertising campaign left much of the film’s details out: All anyone knew was that it had it had something to do with aliens.
They did well — $50 mil ain’t bad, but they still lost the top spot to a kid’s movie. Perhaps this UFO was just another ploy that Scott had up his sleeve in order to raise alien buzz and to get people to see his movie. Sometimes when a movie topic lines up with current events it fares better (here’s your example). Maybe Prometheus had everything to do with this UFO.
Konspiracy III: This.
This year, July 4th will mark a historic Independence Day, 200 years after our nation first had to defend its independence against those damn redcoats (War of 1812, if you were unaware).
This year is also the 25th anniversary of Will Smith (the Fresh Prince) and DJ Jazzy Jeff’s debut album. Smith starred in Independence Day, which featured aliens trying to take over the world. What does this all have to do with what happened on the beltway? I don’t know, but I’m sure Jeff Goldblum could decipher something from it.
So there are your three konspiracies. I personally love talking about the possibility of extra terrestrial life existing since reading Chariots of the Gods? (look it up, fool) my sophomore year. But even I know better than to actually thing that this was a UFO. If it was, then don’t you think the government would have tried harder to mask it?
Juan Cervantes is a senior history major and student blogger for The Diamondback.