
Just a thought, guys.
Ah, election season. One of my favorite times of year. The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and mud is being slung through the air. We’re not talking the presidental election, people, it’s time for Student Government Association elections.
Why do I love them? Well (this is going to floor you), I actually hate them. I can’t stand the endless bombardment from candidates during the election cycle. The fliers, the emails, pitches during class — all of it.
I don’t care about your inconsequential platform you’re running on. I’d guess that neither does 70 percent of the student population. So, please stop shoving your platform down my throat. In fact, I’d rather you put an actual wooden platform through a woodchipper and sprinkle the wood chips on my tuna sandwiches (and I love my tuna sandwiches) than have to listen to a candidate drone on about how they’re going to increase the number of Inuits at our school.
Diversity as a platform? Really? It’s important in the grand scheme of things, but if you’re trying to get students to vote, that’s a surefire way to put them to sleep and to spread the apathy. You want to pull people out to vote and get your point across? Two words: moon bounce.
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