Campus Complainer: Bunker down for graduation

Hop into my bunker, seniors. The doomsday countdown has begun. This week puts us at four weeks left of classes and when we hit the weekend, we’ll be exactly one month away from graduation. I’ve already started stocking up on cans of beans, bottles of water and boxes of .45-caliber ammo.

Wait, what’s that? Life doesn’t end after graduation? When you step off stage, you don’t plummet into a pit of doom and despair? That’s a relief.

However, with my time at Maryland winding down, I’m going to have to trudge through a few obstacles. Obstacles that might prevent me from walking across the stage at graduation. Seniors, if you encounter these problems, handle them with care as they might lead to your untimely demise.

Four freshman science courses Rick Perry should probably take

"Science? Can't we just talk about this giant flag?"

Presidential candidate Rick Perry reminded us at the Republican debate Wednesday night that he has a lot of trouble with science. Though some of his ignorant stances have contributed to his field-leading poll numbers, his public statements have repeatedly contradicted even 100-level science classes. It’s not about politics — it’s about academics, and it’s ridiculously simple. Here’s a few classes at the University of Maryland that might bring this Texas A&M grad into the 21st century.