That chicken statue in front of Stamp, or: How McDonald’s is like your ex

"At least Chick-Fil-A* kills us humanely. And they've got that SAUCE. Mm." (Photo by Charlie DeBoyace/The Diamondback)

McDonald’s. It’s like the ex-lover whom you can’t get out of your mind. You know both things are bad for you, you know you shouldn’t go to them. But oh, you do, even though you know they’re both cheap, suspicious and frequently accused of being cruel.

And now, the university now has a glowering, 5 1/2-foot tall reminder that we are supposed to not want a McDonald’s franchise in the Stamp Student Union. UMD student group VegTerps has placed a rather large statue of a beaten, bloody chicken in front of Stamp. They’re doing it to protest the McDonald’s suppliers’ methods of slaughtering animals, which may be surprising to some students who didn’t know McDonald’s products were made of animals and not tan, gritty Jello.

It is likewise surprising that student groups are allowed to just dump stuff onto public sidewalks and leave it there, but it’s for “the welfare of the birds,” according to Marta Holmberg, a division manager of the youth division of the People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, which donated the avian aberration as part of its “McCruelty” campaign.

“Every student and administrator who sees our chicken statue will be reminded that the Golden Arches stand for cruelty,” Holmberg said in a press release. “The University of Maryland has been praised for its wide range of vegan dining options, but its disregard for the welfare of the birds killed for McDonald’s is dragging its otherwise good reputation into the gutter.”

FINALLY! An explanation for Maryland’s low college rankings. It’s not big classes or sub-par instructors — it’s the chicken nuggets.

The ghost of deliciousness past. (Photo by Charlie DeBoyace/The Diamondback)

*Full disclosure: Rich Abdill once worked as a cow mascot for Chick-Fil-A.

You can also check out Campus Drive on Facebook and on Twitter at @theDBK.


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One comment on “That chicken statue in front of Stamp, or: How McDonald’s is like your ex

  1. BITCH HERE ARE MY TWO CENTS. MMKAY, SO IF YOU R HATIN ON MAH MACDONALDSSSS, THEN DO. NOT. GO THERE. I HATE THE HIPPY-ASS VEGAN-ASS PEOPLE THAT GO TO THE CO-OP, BUT U KNOW WUT? I DONT PROTEST THAT SHIT. I JUST DONT GO AND LET ALL THE HOMELESS-LOOKING AND TRIFLING PEOPLE GO THERE.
    #ENDRANT
    SUCK ON THAT PETA
    AYIYIYIYI!
    -JANICE IAN

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