“At the rate we are going, we will be less productive than the United States Congress.”
That’s from an email sent yesterday by SGA Speaker of the Legislature Carson McDonald to the Student Government Association internal mailing list. It was the second email in as many weeks from McDonald regarding the total lack of new legislation on the SGA agenda.
“It is unacceptable that in the third week of the year, no legislator has actually composed their own legislation,” it says. “All of you joined this organization to do something, so do it!”
The first email, sent before last Wednesday’s SGA meeting, said, “It is early in the year, so it is fine for this week. However, all of you joined the organization to make a change or take a stance on campus. There shouldn’t be any more weeks where over 30 legislators go without starting something new!”
According to the minutes from the group’s Sept. 14 meeting, Vice President of Finance David Berlin sang a selection from “Hot Stuff” during his executive report because the song was stuck in his head. The minutes also reflect that, when it came time to approve Gursean Singh for the position of assistant vice president of finance, “Berlin proceeded to speak on behalf of Singh in a very deep voice that imitated that of Singh until the Speaker called him to stop.” Singh was then approved.
The meeting then moved on to the statement from executive cabinet member Zachary Cohen, SGA director of government affairs. His first order of business was to announce that, though he was not wearing a bow tie this week, a new one will hopefully arrive in the mail for this week’s meeting. He also said he would soon be holding a “bow tie tying seminar.” (At the Sept. 7 meeting, SGA President Kaiyi Xie congratulated Cohen’s bow tie “on being ridiculous,” according to that week’s minutes.)
At the end of the meeting, Outlying Commuter Legislator Brandon Brendan Cusack asked if anyone wanted to coach a 5th- and 6th-grade soccer team. Greek Legislator Ilana Avergun also gave out cupcakes.
To be fair, there were two pieces of older legislation that were passed last week — the first was called the “Resolution Concerning the Renewal of the Memorandum of Understanding(MOU) Between the City of College Park and The Department of Transportation Services,” which is presumably in reference to the program that offers free daytime DOTS bus passes to College Park residents. It is unclear what the SGA actually has to do with this program.
SGA legislators also passed an act to fund the SGA committees.
Don’t look for either of these pieces of legislation on the SGA website’s “recent legislation” section though — the most recent legislation listed still has a spot for the signature of former SGA President Steve Glickman, who hasn’t been in office since the beginning of May.
It was a more productive meeting than the one held Sept. 7, however. There was no legislation passed, but Avergun compiled a list for those interested in a “group snack” and offered copies of “boring class bingo … if you guys get bored in class.”
The minutes for that meeting contain this entry under the executive report from VP of Finance David Berlin:
i. Panda Dog
1. [President] Kaiyi [Xie]: in china, a man was arrested for painting his dog like a panda because the police thought he was stealing a panda
2. Berlin: I’ve had 5 dogs throughout my life – prize: a high 5. I will be giving out invaluable presents. Study me for trivia.
Well, at least we can look at pictures of those adorable dogs.