The National Park Service has released a video from inside the Washington Monument during the Aug. 23 earthquake that busted a a four-foot crack into the top of the obelisk. It appears to show a clan of backpack-toting little kids reacting more calmly than the park ranger, but officials say no, the guard was totally supposed to bolt down the stairs like that.
The quake doesn’t start until around the 1:45 mark in the video — the Park Service has always been a fan of exposition.
As for the monument, it’s closed until repairs can be finished and inspectors say it won’t collapse in a big patriotic heap. The latest awesome, unbelievably cool inspections start today and involve engineers rappelling down the sides of the monument, presumably while waving American flags and listening to heavy metal until they get to the ground, at which time they will punch a bunch of terrorists in the face.
THE EARTHQUAKE WILL NOT WIN.