College Park Lonely Hearts: Mustache rides, two girls one cup and a guy with a collection of body parts in his basement

College Park Lonely Hearts is a weekly special bringing you the most seductive dating website entries from the College Park area. The pictures are real, the user names are real, the descriptions are speculation. We hope this helps you find your special someone.

User name: ckringle9 (match.com)
Hobbies: Being incredulous, Master of Disguise
Exercise habits: Mustache rides
Currently listening to: Santana – “Samba Pa Ti

User name: benjaminc1127 (okcupid.com)
Hobbies: Stumbling upon grisly car accidents, watching “Two Girls, One Cup”
Exercise habits: Cringing, whimpering, yelling “ewww bro”
Currently listening to: Harry and Lloyd – “Mockingbird

User name: AdventurousLov3 (match.com)
Hobbies: Eye contact, cutting hitchhikers’ fingers off
Exercise habits: Chasing people down the road in the middle of the night
Currently listening to: Tom Waits – “In the Colosseum

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