As I wait for the Shuttle-UM bus, I watch almost the entire student population walk by. Jocks and sorority girls alike catch my eye and my interest. I wonder if I, an Average Jane, could ever be gazed upon as I am gazing upon these students now.
Do I have what it takes? Do I walk the walk and talk the talk? And then I notice something. The heavens open up as I have my “ah-ha” moment. I could have sworn angels just sang down to me.
The guy sitting next to me does a double take as a girl walks by; I think I hear his neck snap. His eyes wander to a place where one does not just simply look without being invited. The invitation came from her pants, or lack thereof. Her pretty face could not overpower the strength of her outfit. What is she wearing?
Leggings. Knee-high boots. Over-sized T-shirt to match.
I speed home, dust off my Victoria’s Secret workout leggings, grey boots with the cute buckle and my ex-boyfriend’s white T-shirt. Because of the ex-boyfriend status, I have no shame taking scissors to the shirt to add a little bare shoulder action.
I jump and I squeeze. I wiggle and I suck in. Then I exhale, “What have I done?” This ‘80s fashion may be back, but even The Breakfast Club would turn me away at this point. Should I even look at myself? I think my mirror might de-friend me. Still, I reluctantly shuffle toward it.
I’m surprised it didn’t crack. Let’s just say, I look nothing like a sorority girl. I feel sorry for anyone who may see this. Put a top hat on me and I could be a circus performer. If I smudge some black makeup on I could channel all that is teen angst and rebellion, reminiscent of Kristen Stewart in The Runaways. Things were rolling and bulging, and I’m not just talking about my eyes.
With a sigh of defeat, I peel the clothes off and slip back into the comfort that is my Sperry loafers and striped cardigan. The leggings have claimed yet another victim.
What can I say? I’m just trying to make it to Friday.
Liz Lane is a junior government and politics and journalism major and student blogger for The Diamondback.