Is It Friday Yet?: The great caffeine crash of 2012

Remember that scene in George of the Jungle when George experiences coffee for the first time, eating coffee grounds straight by the handful? Well I just had one of the moments.

It’s a Monday night and I have an exam in the morning. Not to mention I also have two online quizzes and a writing sample due. I must also defeat Voldemort all by midnight.

Solution? Java, java, java, java, java, java!

I sip my first cup and sit down to my pile of demands. I crack my first book and suddenly feel a kick of adrenaline. I then sip my second, third and fourth cups — I have caught my second wind!

I soar through all my work, cramming for the exam, answering quizzes and jotting down written words. I am then physically able to cast the Patronus spell. (I was too weak before.)

I am on a roll. I fly through the pages with fire shooting from my pen and fingertips — cue the Rocky theme song.

I finish. All my work is done. Yes, I have even slayed Voldemort at the point of my caffeinated wand. So what do I do now?

I check Facebook, and it is a ghost town. Tumbleweeds roll across my news feed. Too bad Will Smith isn’t here to sing “Wild Wild West”. I think when there isn’t even anyone to talk to on Facebook, it’s time to go to sleep.

I lie down and fight to keep my eyes closed. My eyelids are arguing with me as if they are shades on a window. You remember the old one-sheet paper shades — no matter how hard you try to pull them down, they always spring back up? I guess this is how Edward Cullen feels, lacking the need to sleep.

I continue to lie awake thinking about what I can do with my jittered time. Then a light bulb goes on in my already illuminated mind, “I think I’ll go write a blog post about being up on coffee at 4 a.m.”

Is it Friday yet? Maybe this caffeine will wear off by then.

— Liz Lane is a junior journalism major and student blogger for The Diamondback

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